13 March 2016
imagining the new
it's been a while since i've posted (ok, years), but that doesn't mean i haven't been writing, thinking, processing. in fact, i've been doing a lot of personal writing in my journals - journals which i hope to someday publish. but for now, i've been thinking about the past 4 years, and where this journey has taken me. since my initial first experiences, assumptions, observations on the continent when i travelled to botswana in 2010, to my second visit the following year, to south africa in 2012. so much happened on that trip - it was life changing to say the least. those of you who know me, and have been following my journey and keeping in touch since then, will know that i now live in cape town and have been since 2012. i decided this was (and still is) where i need(ed) to be. the decision to come back - after my first experience here - was inevitable, intuitive. my intuition told me that there was something for me here - a purpose, or calling of sorts. i am still figuring out what that purpose is, but i can say this: the past 4 years have been immense in terms of experiences, observations, culture, introspection, self-development, transformation and growth. i learn more and more about this life, this country, and myself each and every time i open my eyes and take a new breath in - in fact, sometimes i find myself holding onto my breath, but i am always reminded to breathe again - in and out - deeply. for your breath takes you back to your centre, where it all began. and my vision for this blog is that i can take you on that journey with me - to the centre of myself, where i find meaning. as i reflect on and make meaning of the past, and look forward to reimagine the new. all the while breathing in the now.
10 September 2011
Feeling Loved
I was feeling so much love today, on my birthday and felt really drawn to writing about it. As many of you know, I have recently uprooted and moved West, to beautiful Victoria, BC. This month has been all about new challenges, discovery and constant acceptance of change. When traveling to new places and embarking on new adventures, I am always conscious to keep an open mind and be welcoming to new experiences. I believe that by setting expectations, one can become disappointed if things don't work out, or these expectations are not met. This is the reason I keep such an open mind and allow things to unfold naturally. Upon finishing school and the many adventures I had throughout the past 4 years, I have really come to know and understand myself - who I am, what my goals and interests are, and where this life may take me. I am content with myself and, at least thought, I was closer to figuring out the next years of my life. But it turns out it doesn't matter how many amazing life changing experiences you have, or how much you feel like you understand yourself, everyday is a learning experience and everyday since I have been in Victoria I have learned something new about myself and about the world - it just never stops! A good friend put it well when she said, 'it's a lifelong process' of learning, constant discovery and constant reevaluation of where you're at and where you want to go. This, I have realized since being here, is completely true. I have overcome the frustration of being in new and unknown territory and remembered patience - a virtue that has revealed itself along my travels, when adjusting to new cultures, new people and new places. I have also realized that this time, I really am doing it on my own. Having resources at my disposal at the University of Guelph was such a blessing and once I got comfortable, I used them frequently; however, here in Victoria, it is up to me to go out and find what I am looking for. So that's exactly what I have been doing. And from here the learning never ends, the self-discovery is constant and my eyes are always open.
Much of what I have already discovered and learned along the way has been thanks to my beautiful family and friends and all their love and support! I feel so blessed to have each and every one of you in my life and could not have come this far without your guidance and words of wisdom. The support I have received is so immense and I am constantly in awe of those who give it - thank you.
This birthday is the first one I have had away from home. Whether it be Brantford or Guelph, Ontario has (for the most part) remained my roots. Now in BC, I felt a bit sad that I could not share this day with the people who mean the most to me - but I was happy at the same time because I felt the love and good vibes! Not just from family and friends at home, in Canada, but also from abroad. My birthday gift to myself was to phone my host family in South Africa and speak to them for the first time since I left - and what an amazing gift that was! To hear my host-mother, Pam, scream with delight when she realized who was calling - I could just picture her smiling and it made me smile back. And when Sonke and Nani sang me happy birthday it brought me back to the nights spent in the living room, listening to music and watching them dance and sing together. I wish I could have recorded that moment on the phone and replay it in my head over and over, but it is forever in my memory. So thank you to the Ndinisa's for being so special - you hold a big piece of my heart and I so look forward to the day we can see each other again. I was also surprised by a phone call from a friend in Botswana - Olefile! It meant so much to reconnect with my friends from all over the world today. The people I have met are the reason I travel - each and every person has taught me something new and I can only hope that I am able to continue learning from them and the others I may someday meet!
Much of what I have already discovered and learned along the way has been thanks to my beautiful family and friends and all their love and support! I feel so blessed to have each and every one of you in my life and could not have come this far without your guidance and words of wisdom. The support I have received is so immense and I am constantly in awe of those who give it - thank you.
This birthday is the first one I have had away from home. Whether it be Brantford or Guelph, Ontario has (for the most part) remained my roots. Now in BC, I felt a bit sad that I could not share this day with the people who mean the most to me - but I was happy at the same time because I felt the love and good vibes! Not just from family and friends at home, in Canada, but also from abroad. My birthday gift to myself was to phone my host family in South Africa and speak to them for the first time since I left - and what an amazing gift that was! To hear my host-mother, Pam, scream with delight when she realized who was calling - I could just picture her smiling and it made me smile back. And when Sonke and Nani sang me happy birthday it brought me back to the nights spent in the living room, listening to music and watching them dance and sing together. I wish I could have recorded that moment on the phone and replay it in my head over and over, but it is forever in my memory. So thank you to the Ndinisa's for being so special - you hold a big piece of my heart and I so look forward to the day we can see each other again. I was also surprised by a phone call from a friend in Botswana - Olefile! It meant so much to reconnect with my friends from all over the world today. The people I have met are the reason I travel - each and every person has taught me something new and I can only hope that I am able to continue learning from them and the others I may someday meet!
18 July 2011
Mandela Day
Today marks the 93rd birthday of Nelson Mandela, or as he is known by his clan name in South Africa, 'Madiba'. Such an influential and iconic figure to the struggle of apartheid in South Africa, Mandela was a political activist and leader of peace at a crucial time in the country. He represents strength, courage and spirit in SA and is a hero to all. I wanted to post a few things I came across today while thinking about his legacy...
"For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others."
"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." (This quote is especially true for me and my experience this summer returning to the SOS Children's Village in Tlokweng, Botswana. I am now understanding the depth of my personal growth in the past year since I first experienced the kids at SOS. This place will always hold a special place in my heart and represents many things for me.)
"There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living." (I vowed at the end of the program this year to always continue to want more out of life, to never stop learning, and to never settle.)
"I have walked that long road to freedom. I have tried not to falter; I have made missteps along the way. But I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. I have taken a moment here to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me, to look back on the distance I have come. But I can only rest for a moment, for with freedom come responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not ended." (We must continually search out goodness.)
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us: it's in everyone. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
"Where you stand depends on where you sit." (It's all about perspective and I have learned so much from listening to the perspectives of others.)
"No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite."
"Overcoming poverty is not a task of charity, it is an act of justice. Like Slavery and Apartheid, poverty is not natural. It is man-made and it can be overcome and eradicated by the actions of human beings. Sometimes it falls on a generation to be great. YOU can be that great generation. Let your greatness blossom."
"As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison." (What an amazing feat of forgiveness after such horrific and unjustifiable treatment of human beings. This represents the mentality in SA today: forgive but never forget. Amazing.)
"During my lifetime I have dedicated myself to this struggle of the African people. I have fought against white domination, and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die."
--Thank you Nelson!
Above: Taking it all in at the Robben Island Museum
(Photo cred: Maggie Campaigne)
Above: Mandela's cell on Robben Island, the fourth cell from the right
"For to be free is not merely to cast off one's chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others."
"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." (This quote is especially true for me and my experience this summer returning to the SOS Children's Village in Tlokweng, Botswana. I am now understanding the depth of my personal growth in the past year since I first experienced the kids at SOS. This place will always hold a special place in my heart and represents many things for me.)
"There is no passion to be found playing small - in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living." (I vowed at the end of the program this year to always continue to want more out of life, to never stop learning, and to never settle.)
"I have walked that long road to freedom. I have tried not to falter; I have made missteps along the way. But I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. I have taken a moment here to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me, to look back on the distance I have come. But I can only rest for a moment, for with freedom come responsibilities, and I dare not linger, for my long walk is not ended." (We must continually search out goodness.)
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us: it's in everyone. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
"Where you stand depends on where you sit." (It's all about perspective and I have learned so much from listening to the perspectives of others.)
"No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite."
"Overcoming poverty is not a task of charity, it is an act of justice. Like Slavery and Apartheid, poverty is not natural. It is man-made and it can be overcome and eradicated by the actions of human beings. Sometimes it falls on a generation to be great. YOU can be that great generation. Let your greatness blossom."
"As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison." (What an amazing feat of forgiveness after such horrific and unjustifiable treatment of human beings. This represents the mentality in SA today: forgive but never forget. Amazing.)
"During my lifetime I have dedicated myself to this struggle of the African people. I have fought against white domination, and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die."
--Thank you Nelson!
Above: Taking it all in at the Robben Island Museum
(Photo cred: Maggie Campaigne)
Above: Mandela's cell on Robben Island, the fourth cell from the right
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